From “Broken” to “A Loyal Soul”

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God.”


From the devotional book: My Utmost For His Highest, By Oswald Chambers
It is only the loyal soul who believes that God engineers circumstances.  We take such liberty with our circumstances, we do not believe God engineers them, although we say we do; we treat the things that happen as if they were engineered by men.  To be faithful in every circumstance means that we have only one loyalty; and that is to our Lord.  Suddenly God breaks up a particular set of circumstances, and the realization comes that we have been disloyal to Him by not recognizing that He ordered them; we never saw what He was after, and that particular thing will never be repeated all the days of our life.  The test of loyalty always comes just there.  If we learn to worship God in the trying circumstances, He will alter them in two seconds when He chooses.

My thoughts…

Where do you stand in your faith?  Do you feel like you are responsible for your accomplishments or do you resonate with the excerpt above?

From my experiences, I see how faith grows with tragedy.  Those, like myself, who have had every single aspect of their life altered by happenings outside of their false perception of control seem to truly understand this.  I must admit, I was stubborn.  I thought I had complete control over my life; but then when life was all falling into place as I had planned, it all came undone.  Everything that I had accomplished, everything that I invested so much time and money in, was taken from me in mere seconds.  With the tremendous loss came denial, depression, and fear.  I was broken and alone; that is, until I realized the truth in “God engineering circumstances”. 

I leaned to God for guidance and wholeheartedly accepted Jesus Christ as my savior.  Through my experiences, I have a deep understanding of how fragile life is.  On December 15, 2010, I faced my own death.  As my accident unveiled its fury, I had no idea what to expect; but, I prayed that I would not be taken from this world.  I had and still do have unfinished business, whatever that may be.  God allowed me a second chance at life.  My life is now not easy; in fact, it is very difficult.  However, now I must live for God.  If I do not live for Him, then my purpose here may end. 

I must say, there is great comfort that comes with acceptance of faith.  I know that I am no longer alone.  I will never be alone ever again.  When God says it is time, He will lift the pain from my mind and body.  When He does, I must remember the pain and hardship suffered.  We must not ever grow arrogant in our ego.  We must always realize where our strength – where our abilities come from. 

So, where are you in your faith?  Do you accept life as it presents itself to you?  Do you embrace uncertainty and allow yourself to receive the gifts of life that are given to you?  Do you realize that there is a greater plan than your own meticulous conjured up masterpiece? 

Or, do you feel the need to control and plan each moment of each day?  If you feel like you need to control your every moment, well then, you are very much like whom I was prior to my accident.  With that said, I feel that there is hope that you too will be enlightened to the Word of God.

Scared?  I understand.  I was too.  I watched my dad physically die in front of my eyes; and yet that was still not enough for me to grasp deeply onto my faith – for it to deeply penetrate my every being.  Even facing my death was not enough for me to release my fear.  For me, it took feeling completely alone and broken.  I hope you never have to experience the pain that I endured.  My hope for you is that you learn through my living testimony; through the work that God is doing through me.

For those who are still reading, I thank you.  I embrace you.  We are each on a journey and I welcome you to follow me as I continue on this journey with faith, hope, and love.  We are one.  Through Jesus Christ great healing can occur.  Place your trust in Him and never turn back.

God bless you and I hope you have a very blessed Christmas.

With Love,

Your Sister in Christ